“I'm not sure what to make of this drastic change of course in my life, I'm certainly not against it. Over the past two decades, I have developed a strict routine, which I followed religiously, a way of living and thinking, or not thinking, as was often the point of the point. Now, this way of being didn’t encourage the contemplation that a day like today could ever occur, or a tomorrow like tomorrow will be for me now. I had convinced myself, that kind of optimism served no useful purpose in the world where I existed. Obviously, this radical belief system was flawed and was, ironically, a kind of fantasy itself. At the least, I feel that those specific coping skills were best suited to the life there behind me, I doubt they will serve me so well for the life in front of me. So I will seriously need to reconsider my world view. ”
